Image Map

Friday, October 17, 2014

Friday Five

Happy Friday!  This week seemed to drag on and on and on, so I am beyond happy that the weekend is here!  I was mentally ready a few days ago...but that's beside the point.

These are the things making me smile today:

1 // Walker left for Virginia yesterday and is going to be gone for the weekend.  I was feeling lonely (gosh I don't know how some people are able to live alone!) and ended up meeting my family for fajitas at Don Pablos.  Delicious!

2 // My sister Courtney was home last weekend, and now Kelley is here!  I can't wait to spend more time with her.

3 // Monday was an inservice, and even though I had already gone through most of the training, it was still a day where I did not have to deal with any tantrums or meltdowns, which is kind of a win in my book.

4 // In youth alpha the other day, we were talking about prayer and the fact that sometimes, we don't get what we ask for.  This quote really struck me, and I think it's definitely been true in my life.  

5 // Last night, I realized that I haven't watched any of the new Modern Family episodes that have come out this fall!  Cue a binge sesh! 

OH - and also related, Friends is coming to Netflix.  Yippee!

What were you up to this week?

Thursday, October 16, 2014

Becoming a Trophy Wife

Two weekends ago, Walker went paintballing with some of the kids from our high school youth group.  He got shot in a billion places and still has giant welts and bruises all over his body.  I was invited (and even encouraged!) to come with him, as they really needed female leaders that day, but I opted out.  Paintball encompasses all the things that I despise and I would have been miserable.  

The following day, as we were out to brunch, Walker mentioned that he was given a hard time by some of the other adult leaders, most of whom had wives who WANTED to come but were otherwise occupied with prior commitments.  I joke about the idea that I'm not all that fun, but I think it was really bothering him that I didn't even express interest in going.  

Have you ever found that it's a whole lot easier to complain about your spouse than brag about him/her?

I hear guys constantly saying things like:

Ugh, I want to come, but you know how it is.  The 'ol ball and chain at home told me I can't.

Or how about this exchange:

Guy 1: Wow, dude, I'm surprised that your wife let you out of the house to come hang with us tonight.
Guy 2: Yeah, she hates me playing video games.  I wish she could be like your wife who doesn't complain about that kind of stuff.

Or what about the constant complaining I hear in the teacher's room?

Oh my gosh, my husband WORKS from home!  Did you hear that?  He WORKS at HOME!  So why is it that I get home from an eight hour day at school and he's in his sweat pants with the kids running wild, toys everywhere, and the sink's full of dishes in the background?

These things are certainly not what you expect when you are standing up in front of everyone and are saying "I do".  You don't predict that you'll complain about your spouse and put him/her down in front of your friends to make yourself look better.

So what if, instead of throwing your better half under the bus, you treated them as if they were your Trophy Wife or Husband?

Walker threw out that terminology at brunch on Sunday and it stuck with me.  I want to be his Trophy Wife.  Now, don't go all crazy and think that I mean the traditional sense of those words.  I'm not about to go out, quit my job, get fake boobs, wear Juicy Couture sweats all day, and sit around looking hot.  I mean that I want to be the woman he brags about in front of his friends, rather than the one he complains about.

So what would that look like for us?

Well, if I was Walker's Trophy Wife, I would...

+ Make more time and become genuinely interested in the things that he enjoys -- like for example, actually going camping or hiking with him, rather than complaining about the potential for bugs and/or how expensive all of the gear is

+ Work with him to brainstorm and create times/days where he can get together with his friends with hearing me whine about it.  I tend to whine because I never know how long he'll be at their houses or on the computer, and it never seems to line up with the times that I want a chance to catch up on TV shows or write blog posts.  Making those two activities align is not THAT why not do it?

Can you imagine it?  Instead of getting an earful from his bros every time they want him to jump in on their video game or go to a bachelor party, he gets to talk about how awesome his wife is.

It works both ways, too.  One of the things we talked about in terms of him becoming a trophy husband was noticing when things need to be done around the house.  He's in charge of making sure that the dishes are washed and the dishwasher is emptied, as well as when the toilet/sink/shower situation gets yucky.  I love it!  It's really great to be able to talk him up in the teacher's lounge when everyone else is complaining about their husbands.

Since we had this conversation, we're both a whole lot happier and more satisfied with our marriage.  It's a great feeling to know that your spouse is looking out for you.

So tell me...what qualities would make your man a trophy husband?

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

The Tale of the Ding Dongs

I have been a perfectionist my whole life, which makes total sense for those of you who know my mother.  Take this cake she loves to bake for example:

Magazine-quality perfection, right??

And as children, my sisters and I were all kind of...well...goody-goodies.  We followed her rules to the tee.  To this day, NONE of us dare (yes, even as grown, adult women) to eat more than two cookies in one sitting.  Store bought baked goods are not worth the calories, and I think we all collectively breathed a sigh of relief when Twinkies were taken off the market because we were disgusted by them.

Which leads me to the story of the ding dongs.

One afternoon, when I was maybe 12, Courtney was 10, and Kelley was 7, we were shopping at the grocery store.  In typical fashion, my mom had already made it down to the dairy section (right near the checkout) but realized that she had forgotten to grab a few items.  She sent my sisters and me to fetch them while she finished up her shopping.

Well, when Courtney, Kelley, and I got back, we found the cart...but Mom was nowhere to be seen.  This wasn't unusual - my mom is the type to leave her cart at the end of the aisle so she's not running anyone over.  We looked inside and as we went to place our newfound items on the top, we saw them.

A package of ding dongs.  

We looked at each other with fear in our eyes.  Obviously, someone had put them into OUR cart thinking it was theirs, and if Mom came back and saw them, we were going to be in huge trouble!  Immediately, we realized that we had to divide and conquer.  We sprang into action, racing to put the ding dongs back before we got caught, and thankfully accomplished our mission before she made it back to the end of the aisle.

Phew!  We would have been SO mortified if she'd come back and spotted them in the cart.  We wouldn't have wanted her to think we were trying to sneak something so junky and unhealthy.

A few minutes later, as we were unloading at the checkout, Mom said, "Huh, I thought I put some ding dongs in the cart.  Do you girls know where they are?"

Helene in Between Blogtober